HAPPINESS

Yom Kippur, 5785

Rabbi Barry L. Schwartz

Here’s something about Israel that made me smile.

In March, the 2024 World Happiness Report was issued. There are some 200 countries in the world. Israel ranked 5th.

Now granted that most of the data was from 2022 and early 2023, so the true effects have Oct. 7 have not registered. But the World Happiness Report is a long standing survey, and Israel has always ranked high, often in the top ten. By contrast, the United States never makes the top ten, and usually ranks in the 20s.

The survey considers extensive polling of people’s attitudes Do people say they are happy? But it also compiles economic data related to income, medical care and social services. So the survey is not only about personal happiness but satisfaction with one’s standard of living and society.

The World Happiness survey results have been quite stable over the years. Predictably the Scandinavian countries rank highest- Finland has been #1 for years. And predictably, impoverished and war torn countries rank lowest. Afghanistan ranked dead last this past year. South Sudan just below it.

Israel has a strong economy and relatively high standard of living. Still, we must ask, how does it rank so high in happiness, given its grave problems, external and internal? And given the Jewish penchant for kvetching… about almost everything!  

And here’s another statistic that made me smile. Guess what country has the highest birth rate among so called First World, developed countries? Israel. By far.

Israel’s total fertility rate sits at 2.9 children per woman. The next closest are Mexico and France with 1.8 children per woman. The average, of which the US is part, is 1.5. Yes, it’s true that not a single developed country except Israel is at fertility replacement level. And yes, the birth rates of the ultra-orthodox are highest, but even among the non-Orthodox the rate in Israel is 2.

While Israelis may be unhappy with their government, they are by and large happy with their lives. And are having lots of babies. How do we explain this?

And again, a cautionary note: Oct. 7 was a head-blow to the national psyche. Israel has not recovered from the trauma, and it will take years. But having shown remarkable resilience for seven decades, we can be confident, short of another cataclysm, that this resilience will again kick-in to help Israelis recover.

David Leiser, a professor of social psychology and dean of behavioral sciences at Netanya Academic College, reminds us that what the report really ranks is not happiness–which is a fleeting emotion–but rather life satisfaction. One can be satisfied overall with life, he points out, even if, at present, one is not feeling jump-for-joy happiness.

“This is not about whether you are having a difficult time right now, it is not related to how happy you felt yesterday, or what bad experiences you had…  Happiness [and] satisfaction [are] different, because if you feel that your life is meaningful, you may have all kinds of issues and still feel that your life is satisfying. Consider even the case of someone very ill and about to die. If you ask that person, ‘What do you think about your life?’ he may say, ‘I had a full and fulfilling life, but now I have to go.’”  

Edith Zakai-Or, the CEO of the Maytiv Center for Positive Psychology at Reichman University explains that it is essential to differentiate between how a person feels at a certain point in time and how they view life in general.

“When my sons were both serving during this war–one in Gaza and the other up North–I wasn’t that happy. But I was able to distinguish between not being happy at a certain point because I was very, very worried, and understanding that I have a good life.”

[According to Zakai-Or, there are several reasons why people in Israel say they are happier than people elsewhere whose countries face fewer “horrible challenges.” “First of all, one of the things that make people happier in Israel is connecting to meaning. And in Israel, there are many opportunities to connect to something that is greater than yourself. There is a lot of ideology around here. We are here for a reason… and when you feel that you are doing something for the greater good, it makes you happy.”

She continues, “In Israel, if you don’t go to a Shabbat dinner, it is a crisis in the family. So there’s always someone that you are connected to. And this is a great source of happiness and of resilience. Because you know there is someone who cares about you.”

She adds, “Many Israelis have a much wider family than their genetic family because they create friendships that are as good as family and sometimes even better, and that is a major part of happiness.”

“When you have no challenges, then something inside you doesn’t grow. Here we are challenged all the time, and we have succeeded. We grow, and this is also a part of being happy.”

“Because when you feel that you have coped well with a challenge, and that you grew from it, that makes you proud. It gives you a sense of self-confidence, it makes you happier. “Saying that you are happy doesn’t mean you’re not challenged, afraid, or concerned. They all come together.  

Zakai Or concludes in a personal way: “I always say to…people I meet – who ask me if I am religious, that I am completely secular. I then tell them that although I am completely secular, I feel Jewish, and I cannot disown being Jewish because I carry my family history on my shoulders.

“You never forget that as an Israeli. You never forget it. People ask questions about my history: where my mother and father were from, where my grandparents were, who survived and who didn’t. We all have those histories. You carry all those generations on your shoulders. You are not alone in the world.”

[As a Jew] you feel you have a reason [to live]. “You feel you have purpose in your life.”

In this most challenging time, what a wonderful lesson from Israel. On this Yom Kippur, can we go beyond superficial notions of happiness and consider life satisfaction? I know it sounds cliché, but can we count our blessings and determine to look at the cup half full?

Ask yourself, what gives you true meaning and purpose in life? How can you deepen your pursuits of these endeavors?

Ask yourself, how can I deepen my connection to family, friends, and community…that bestows my sense of connectedness; the blessing of belonging?

Ask yourself, how can I deepen my faith, as imperfect as it may be… that bestows my sense of security and well-being, the blessing of belief?  

The process of introspection that encompasses these questions is called heshbon hanefesh- soul searching. It is what Yom Kippur is all about.

At the moment each of us is happy about somethings; unhappy about others. Often the latter can overwhelm the former. The things that irk us loom large. Sometimes we begin to obsess about them. The things that trouble us seem to take over the available space in our brain.

When this happens emotions crowd out reason. We become irritated and stressed. We veer toward pessimism; melancholy; sometimes depression. We see the glass half-empty. We wallow in our unhappiness.

If we can dig deeper, we can discover anew the well-springs of satisfaction. We can put our life in the proper perspective. We can concentrate not on ephemeral ups and downs but on lasting satisfaction. We can regain our equilibrium. We can be strong, resilient, and yes, we can be happy.

Israel is in the top-ten of world happiness. Our fellow Jews have something to teach us. Why not us in the top-ten as well?

My slogan for this new year- despite everything: Be Happy- You’re Jewish!

Shanah tovah.